Obsess Much?
Last night, I stayed up late, waiting for D. to get online again. My knee was throbbing, but I tried to ignore it...if I took a vicodin, I knew I'd fall asleep and miss him. To top it all off, I couldn't use the nickname he knows on IRC, since somehow I'd managed to stay connected from work. Cue small panic attack.
I waited...and waited...and waited. I told a friend about the situation, and he suggested I call D. But...I don't know. I don't want to see so damn needy and insecure, even though I am. Especially since I am. I also was worried he came home from work exhausted, or with another headache, and I really didn't want to call and wake him up.
God, I hate being a stupid girl.
So, I took a vicodin when I couldn't stand my knee anymore, and struggled to stay awake. I kept dozing and forcing my eyes open to see if he had suddenly appeared online. Eventually, I just couldn't do it anymore. After a bit of sleep, I ended up closing my laptop and leaving it on the corner of my bed so I could collapse without light. This morning, 5 AM or so, I woke up and opened up the laptop. Right after I had fallen asleep, D. had come online. Just my luck.
As S. pointed out, if D. likes me, and it seems he does, it'll be harder than that to screw things up. But I worry. I always worry.
I had really strange dreams, too. I'd blame it on the vicodin, but I always have strange dreams. I remember being on a large boat, with masts all over the place, rather than in the usual arrangement. We were escaping from someone or something, I think, but there were no ropes for the sails. Someone put together paperclip chains, and we used those...I had no idea what I was doing, but I guess I managed.
I also dreamt about being a vet tech again. My old boss had some sort of spinal injury, and we were taking care of this sick dog that was owned by a greasy 'I know guys in the Mob' type.
Plus, there was something about highschool, with no one wanting to sit near me, feeling totally left out. And I think there was some sort of bomb scare, or poisonous gas or something. That was definitely the worst part. I've got to stop talking with Messy about things like that (highschool, not gas. I try not to talk to people about gas, unless it's argon or acetylene).
I waited...and waited...and waited. I told a friend about the situation, and he suggested I call D. But...I don't know. I don't want to see so damn needy and insecure, even though I am. Especially since I am. I also was worried he came home from work exhausted, or with another headache, and I really didn't want to call and wake him up.
God, I hate being a stupid girl.
So, I took a vicodin when I couldn't stand my knee anymore, and struggled to stay awake. I kept dozing and forcing my eyes open to see if he had suddenly appeared online. Eventually, I just couldn't do it anymore. After a bit of sleep, I ended up closing my laptop and leaving it on the corner of my bed so I could collapse without light. This morning, 5 AM or so, I woke up and opened up the laptop. Right after I had fallen asleep, D. had come online. Just my luck.
As S. pointed out, if D. likes me, and it seems he does, it'll be harder than that to screw things up. But I worry. I always worry.
I had really strange dreams, too. I'd blame it on the vicodin, but I always have strange dreams. I remember being on a large boat, with masts all over the place, rather than in the usual arrangement. We were escaping from someone or something, I think, but there were no ropes for the sails. Someone put together paperclip chains, and we used those...I had no idea what I was doing, but I guess I managed.
I also dreamt about being a vet tech again. My old boss had some sort of spinal injury, and we were taking care of this sick dog that was owned by a greasy 'I know guys in the Mob' type.
Plus, there was something about highschool, with no one wanting to sit near me, feeling totally left out. And I think there was some sort of bomb scare, or poisonous gas or something. That was definitely the worst part. I've got to stop talking with Messy about things like that (highschool, not gas. I try not to talk to people about gas, unless it's argon or acetylene).
posted by Dangermouth at 5:44 AM
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